I’ve been thinking a lot lately about the concept of a Normal Day. How I usually pay little attention to life’s unremarkable moments and live through them impatiently, always on the lookout for those punctuated with excitement. Fidgeting and drumming my fingers until something happens to make the day noteworthy. But, I’ve come to realize that, although many of us despair the normal day due to a need for constant entertainment, beauty exists in their simplicity, only to become apparent once that normalcy shifts. Where we want nothing more than that time before the earthquake, where we were so blissfully unaware of the myriad of ways things could change. I don’t want to say, “If only I knew how lucky I was.” I want to take the time to know how lucky I am now.
This past April marked the one year anniversary of my grandmother’s passing, which would have also been the month of her 91st birthday. I still miss her every day. My grandmother – I called her Mimere – was, in a word: fabulous. She lived to be 90 years old and was still living in her own house, driving her own car, and had only recently stopped working (her job was to help the elderly. I kid you not. She helped the elderly well into her late 80’s). She had a wide group of friends and actually was still dating (and had a LOT of advice for me over the years about dating men who were cheap). When you read her obituary (which she had written in advance because she was just that organized), it’s almost impossible not to sit in awe of her accomplishments. And then you squint and read it again and realize that the long list of accolades only included what she had done since her retirement. I was truly blessed to know her and be loved by her. She was probably one of my biggest fans and never needed me to be anything other than exactly who I am.
I was always in awe of how she lived her life – full of exuberance and joy – and she encouraged all of us to live the same way. After she passed, we found she had left each of us grandchildren letters, with a small amount of money enclosed. I remembered how every time we would see each other, my Mimere always told me how much she loved that I wore dresses. And how much she herself loved clothes and sparkle and dressing to feel good about herself. So, with part of the money she left to me in that envelope, I bought this dress. It simply spoke to me amidst the sea of dresses and the ocean of choices. I knew she would have loved it – from the silhouette she wore as a young women, to the hand-sewn sequin strawberries and prong set rhinestones that adorn the bodice. And while I have a lot of dresses, this one will always hold a place in my heart. Because every time I wear it I can feel her with me. As if this dress is imbued with all of the things she wanted for me. As if her spirit is somehow safely tucked within the folds.
When I moved to New Zealand back in 2003, my Mimere had started writing to me consistently. And so I’ve received a handwritten letter nearly every week for over a decade. She would tell me about her week, the adventures she had gotten up to, what the weather was doing back home. The games she had gone to that summer and the friends she would have over to play cards in the breezeway. And I have those words now safely locked tight in a keepsake box. And, more than anything, I love having those snapshots of her normal days. How she would write to me irrespective of the big moments. And I think that’s what I miss the most – the little things. The little, unremarkable, perfectly normal moments.
Normal Day,
let me be aware of the treasure you are. Let me not pass you by in quest of some rare & perfect tomorrow. Let me hold you while I may, for it will not always be so. One day I shall dig my fingers into the earth & want more than all the world your return.
~Mary Jean Irion
I‘ve certainly been guilty in the past of sighing over the mundane days. Those days when there was nothing of note; where I come home and shrug and say to my beloved, “it was just another day.” But I realize those mundane days are the best days. Those mundane days are the days when the boat was not rocked, when my normal was not shaken. And although I will always have appreciation for the big and exciting days – my wedding day, the day my niece was born, the day I hit some huge milestone at work or accomplished a major goal – I also want to have appreciation for those days that are simply normal. Those days when my grandmother’s letter would be in my post box. The days when I was safe in the knowledge that all of my loved ones were tucked into their beds, happy and healthy. Those days where I had a normal dinner with my husband and talked of normal things and fell asleep knowing that all was the status quo.
In the envelope my grandmother left me still sits her one last letter to me. Left with its original creases still creased. Pristine and perfect and untouched. Although we just passed the first anniversary of our loss, I still haven’t read it. There’s a part of me that needs to know there are still things she can share with me – still bits of wisdom I haven’t yet heard her say.
Truthfully, I’m not sure if I’ll ever read the letter. But, if I do, I want it to be on one of life’s normal days. I want to read her words to me as if I were receiving another one of her letters across the miles – with more still to come. On a day I would ordinarily take for granted, because of its exquisite monotony. I’m not sure at what point it’s supposed to become normal to be without her. I just know, in keeping her letter safe, I’m not ready for that to be my normal yet.
So today, I will appreciate for it’s normal. For the kiss my husband gives me every day before he heads off, where he admires my dress and declares himself the luckiest. For the same coffee I pick up on my way to work, where the barista slips me an extra cookie because I go there every day. For the people at work I choose to surround myself with, who are making giant leaps in the field one baby step at a time. For the strangers that scurry past me every day, with their own lives and stories to tell. And for an untouched letter that sits on my dresser, ready and waiting for the day when I am ready.
I’m taking time to appreciate this normal, beautiful day. How about you?
xoxo
Outfit Details:
Dress: Butch Wax Vintage (similar modern or vintage here, here, here, & here)
Necklace: Macy’s (similar)
Belt: Alannah Hill (similar here, here, here & here)
Handbag: Golden Crane Vintage (similar here, here & here)
Shoes: Valentino, thrifted (similar here, here & here)
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