Have you ever been walking down the street or browsing on Insta, and seen someone come into your peripheral view that makes you stop. That makes you whip your head around and think to yourself, “That’s who I want to be when I grow up.” And not for a tangible reason. But for all of the intangible, critically important reasons you can’t put your finger on. An inner confidence that comes out of every pore. A quiet strength in embracing exactly who they are. A certain joie de vivre that beams right at you like the Care Bear Stare, filling you with joy you carry around for the rest of the day. Ladies, this was the feeling I had when I first spotted Nikki Redcliffe.
Many moons ago, I wanted to start a feature here on the blog, where I interview ladies I find inspiring. I consider it a personal goal to try to combat the negative in the world with a bit of love directed at those who inspire me, so that my readers may find similar inspiration and go on to spread the word that we need to lift one another up, rather than tear each other down. Many of my previously featured Smart, Sassy and Stylish ladies were those I met in the blogosphere – the lovely Lindsey of Have Clothes Will travel, a fellow adventurer and world traveler, who was the one to give me the push to start this blog in the first place. The amazing Amy of Miss Amy May, celebrating her fabulousness daily, always with an eyebrow cocked and a witty comeback. And the inspirational Jessica of Pinup Persuasion, who has more times than I can count been a sounding board, a confidante, and a source of some pretty amazing vintage that I happily added to my wardrobe.
But, despite our best intentions at the time to continue with a project, Life…happens. It’s been far too long (embarrassingly long) since I dusted off my interviewer’s notebook, but I knew it was time to add another to the Smart, Sassy and Stylish club. And so I set out, intent on finding someone who had something to say, simply by embracing who she was. And it didn’t take me very long to find her…
Dear readers, meet the stunning Nikki Redcliffe – someone who I have admired from afar for ages, with an admiration that only deepened when I found out she really is every bit as awesome as she seems.
When I was a fledgling Instagrammer, I remember checking out various vintage hashtags to help me find the way to my tribe. Feeling completely isolated in my chosen field, where yoga pants and t-shirts abound, I remember craving a community of people who just got it. Who knew just why finding a Suzy Perette label inside a garment you snagged for $15 was worth squealing over. Who understood the love and appreciation for detail. For putting effort into yourself. Who would never ask me why I was so dressed up. Cause it was obvious – I was dressed up because I was awake.
I remember happening upon Nikki’s instagram, and was instantly captured. Not just by the drop dead wardrobe (which is enviable) or her seriously striking ability to accessorize (respect), but how completely herself she seemed to be. Simply by her tagline, “Exploring the art of aging gracefully,” I knew I found someone who didn’t take herself too seriously. But, took herself just seriously enough. In our youth-obsessed society, I loved seeing an account where someone was no longer apologizing for being out of her 20’s. Who revered her age and shared the sheer joy she was experiencing in her 60’s. I knew this was not going to be a feed filled with apologies or explanations, self-criticism or pleas for validation, as most women feel they need to give when they are not the picture of whatever the *ideal* of the moment is, in weight, in age, in style, in whatever the self-flagellation of the moment is. Instead, I was transported to a world of glamour and self-celebration. Unapologetic fabulosity. A reminder that we can all age with grace and humor – and like it. I decided it was a world I wanted to stay in for awhile…
After a few stops and starts and worries about whether I was fan-girling too hard, I plucked up the courage to write Nikki and asked if she might let me interview her for the blog. She kindly agreed, and indulged me in all of my questions – from some of her favorite places to find vintage, to her thoughts on representation of women of all ages in the media, to her photoshoot with Ari Seth Cohen (!).
Q: Tell me a little about yourself – where you live, what you love, who tags along on your amazing life adventures?
Nikki: “Here we go – I’m 61 years old, mother of three daughters (Natasha 29 @tashtastes, Alex 27 @one_cliff_two_cliff and @alex.peck.art and Tory 25 @toryredcliffe) and Granny to the adorable one year old Atticus (son of Alex and Zackary Peck @zackarypeck). I divorced seven years ago and I now live with my man, Martin, in beautiful Brighton on the south coast of England, which is a delightfully lively, cool, quirky town. Martin and I met online two and a half years ago and moved to Brighton about a year ago.
I love to travel and have lived in a lot of different places, including France, Switzerland and Morocco. Next month I’m off to India and when I need some peace I have a little house up a mountain in the middle of nowhere in Spain which is a perfect retreat.
I love to garden, play bridge, dance and ski. Prefer reading to TV and like nothing better than a cryptic crossword. Major house renovations in Brighton are using up most of my spare time right now but I’m hoping to get my old car on the road this Spring. It’s a beautiful bright red 1947 Triumph Roadster that’s spent most of the past 18 months in the workshop but I live in hope.
My best vintage pal for dressing up and going out is lovely Biddy and later this month we are off to the V&A for the first preview day of the Dior exhibit – so excited!”
(2) Can you tell me a little bit about your fashion aesthetic? Have you always been so stylish?
Nikki: “I’ve always been a clothes addict. Some of my earliest memories are of the dresses my mother made for me when I was tiny. As a teenager I followed fashion relentlessly and when I was 16 I worked as a Saturday girl in Biba – the most amazing shop in the world. I read History at university but I would’ve liked to go to art college and study fashion. Instead I read about fashions of the past, visited museums to look at historic clothing and consumed fashion related images through magazines, movies and advertising.
Before marriage and children I was always dressed in the latest fashions and I still have a few items from Fiorucci, Vivienne Westwood, Jean Paul Gaultier, Sonia Rykiel, Norma Kamali and Katherine Hamnett. Then came ‘The Mummy Years’ when time, money and energy all went into making a home and bringing up the girls. I didn’t ever stop caring about what I wore, I just had other higher priorities. I often dressed with a ‘nod’ to vintage but didn’t wear much true vintage back then.
Finally, around the age of 50 I found my girls were becoming more independent and I had some time to spend on myself. I looked around to see what fashion had to offer me and found …. nothing! It was the era of low rise skinny jeans and I don’t even think they looked good on Kate Moss. There was nothing ‘age appropriate’ (hate that phrase but you know what I mean) that was flattering, womanly, elegant and stylish. Basically fashion didn’t want to know about me as a 50 plus woman. My choice was to dress like a teenager or pop on a beige cardigan and forget all about it.
I’d always been drawn to 40s and 50s fashions so my dearest friend Biddy @biddystanford took me vintage shopping and that was it. I was hooked. It was such a delight to find beautifully made garments that were totally individual. The shopping was such fun – like a treasure hunt – and produced a unique style that allowed me to express myself in a way that mainstream fashion didn’t cater for.”
(3) When & why did you start posting your daily outfits on Instagram? Can you pinpoint a moment or event that finally inspired you to take the plunge?
Nikki: “Haha, I started my Instagram account purely so I could see my daughters photos. For the first year or so I didn’t really ‘get’ Instagram but I started following lots of vintage gals and loved seeing their wonderful outfits. Then it occurred to me that I had an awful lot of vintage items that other people might like to see so in June 2016 I began posting my own outfits pics. I took all my photos in the mirror on the landing, with my iPhone, and was a bit surprised to find myself gaining new followers.
Then I started to use the hashtag #advancedstyle, on the grounds that I was in my 60th year. I’m a huge Ari fan and love what he’s done to celebrate the style of older people. I didn’t expect he would ever see my posts but one day I went out for a coffee and when I got back I had more than 1000 new followers because Ari had reposted one of my photos on @advancedstyle.
I’ve had a huge amount of fun with Instagram. I’ve connected with people all over the world and made friends with some amazing people I’ve never met. It’s a wonderful way to find your tribe – lovely, generous, supportive people who share the same passions and enthusiasms.
When I first started my account I wondered whether I would ever have as many as 1000 followers – it seemed like an impossible target. Now I’m astonished to have over 23000 and people stop me in the street, in shops, on trains and say they’ve seen me on Instagram. Very strange but I’m secretly enjoying it all! All the more so because it was so unplanned and unexpected.”
(4) The tagline on your IG account reads, “Exploring the art of aging gracefully.” Given our youth-obsessed society, I think a lot of women struggle with this concept. Can you tell me a little bit about your views on celebrating yourself at any (and every!) age? Do you have any advice for women who haven’t quite grown into their confidence yet?
Nikki: “This is a very important subject for me. One of the reasons I love Ari and his Advanced Style project is that he really appreciates the beauty, value and relevance of older people.
You are quite right in describing our society as ‘youth-obsessed’ and it leads people, particularly women, to lose confidence and question their role once youth has gone. We are also obsessed with appearances so the physical signs of ageing reinforce these feelings of irrelevance and worthlessness. Sadly there are few real life role models to demonstrate that ageing can be a joyful and liberating experience. I think that age is one of the last taboos. We are now seeing people of all shapes and sizes, genders and ethnicities across all forms of media but old people are still under represented, despite being a growing demographic sector with huge purchasing power.
Finding a style I’m happy with has given me enormous confidence. I find that dressing well and looking my best is important to my overall sense of well being. Also, I get positive reinforcement from other people who seem to appreciate the effort I put in. It’s a win/win scenario in which everyone is happier.
It’s very hard to give confidence to anyone who is scared of what other people might think or say. Personally I’ve found the best thing about getting older is caring less about the opinions of others. I only care about the people who are important to me, and they only want me to be happy and to be myself. Not everyone is so fortunate, especially if they have lost sight of their own style along the way.
Playing with clothes, hair and make up can be enormous fun but lots of women seem to feel guilty, selfish, narcissistic. Why? It’s a perfectly harmless way to look and feel better, at any age.
I get so many heart warming comments from women of all ages telling me I’m an inspiration! That has been unexpected and it’s very humbling but if I have encouraged anyone to experiment and discover a style they are happy with then I’m a happy lady. “
(5) You have an absolutely stunning wardrobe – can you share any trade secrets or favorite shops where you snag so many treasures?
Nikki: “The honest answer is that I’m a terrible shopaholic! And a hoarder! The only problem with buying vintage is that because it’s never actually in fashion it never goes out of fashion either. The end result is too many clothes.
I buy mostly online, either through the Facebook group Ooh La La or from Etsy sellers. I follow many vintage sellers on Instagram and quite often buy as a result of seeing something on Instagram. I also go to a few favourite vintage shops (mainly in London), I attend vintage fairs and there a few big vintage events such as Goodwood Revival and Twinwood Festival which have great shopping opportunities.
I look upon my vintage wardrobe as a hobby – an expensive, time consuming hobby that brings me a lot of pleasure.”
(6) You seem to be getting more active in modeling – I’ve heard you shot for Deadly Female and saw on your IG that you won the Miss Vintage UK title this year (congrats!). Is modelling a recent endeavor? How did you break into pinup modelling?
Nikki: “I am really not a model! I was a customer of Deadly is the Female and we follow each other on Instagram so when they very kindly asked me to participate in a photo shoot I said yes. It was a lovely experience but not exactly the launch of a new career. By the way, I do run my own small business which manages property rentals and refurbishments.
I decided to enter Miss Vintage UK last year because I was attending Twinwood Festival for the first time and thought ‘why not?’ It was a huge shock when they announced my name as winner but, as before, it hasn’t been life changing.
I don’t foresee a future as the worlds oldest pinup model but next week I’ve been asked to do a shoot with What Katie Did. I’ve been a customer for years and we meet up at various events but I was very flattered and amazed when they asked me to do a bit of modelling. I’m actually quite nervous but they are lovely people so I’m sure I’m in good hands. I’ll let you know how it goes.”
(7) To borrow from one of my favorite interview questions I’ve ever been asked: We tend live in different worlds: work, friends and family. If you could describe each of your ‘worlds’ in an outfit, what would it be?
Nikki: “Now that’s a very interesting question! On reflection I think that getting older has blurred the definition between those different worlds because I’m more confident and less inclined to worry about pleasing other people. In earlier years I probably did dress differently for each ‘audience’ but now I just wear what I like.
That said, I will always choose a suit (preferably Lilli Ann) if I want to feel powerful, elegant and sophisticated. For a party I will choose a proper party frock (Suzy Perette if possible) with a big skirt and loads of petticoats. And for playing with Atticus I choose Freddie’s of Pinewood jeans and my hair in a turban so he can’t grab it with his lovely little sticky fingers.”
(8) I was so excited when you appeared in Advanced Love – I’m such a fan of Ari Seth Cohen and Advanced Style! What was that experience like?
Nikki: “I have already described how Ari spotted my Instagram posts and featured me on @advancedstyle. Then last December I was in Los Angeles for the birth of Atticus and he noticed the location on my posts was LA. He messaged and asked if we could get together and also asked whether by any chance I had a partner because his new project was a book about over 60’s couples. Martin was indeed with me in LA so we had a totally delightful day out with Ari, taking photos, eating Mexican food and visiting vintage stores. We are hugely surprised and flattered to find ourselves in the pages of Advanced Love, especially as we are the only British couple and we are a relatively new pairing compared to some of those lovely folk who have spent a lifetime together. Yet another unexpected and joyful gift, thanks to Instagram.”
(9) What songs would be in your life soundtrack?
Nikki: “Ah, I’m an old fashioned girl so my soundtrack would be mostly Frank, Ella, Dean, swing, classic jazz, big bands and show tunes. I also love Leonard Cohen for the poetry, Bruce Springsteen for the energy and top of my playlist is David Bowie. I saw Bowie’s Ziggy Stardust show in London when I was 16 and life was never the same. Me and glamour go back a long way! Throw in some Lou Reed, Bryan Ferry and Elvis Costello plus a sprinkling of Willie Nelson and I’d be very content.”
(10) And finally, finish this sentence: When I grow up, I want to be…
Nikki: “Not grown up!
Numerically I’m pretty sure I qualify as grown up but it has such depressing connotations. I don’t feel I’m finished yet. So much to do, see, enjoy, experience, learn and share. That’s why I sincerely hope I’m not grown up yet, but will continue growing for many years to come.”
Can you even handle how fabulous this woman is? If you do not have a girl crush after that, I don’t even know what to say. But, I sincerely hope you run over to your Instagram as fast as your fingers can take you and follow Nikki for a daily dose of inspiration and heart-stoppingly beautiful vintage…and a bit of a reminder that you will always be fabulous – yesterday, today, and tomorrow.
Although women struggle with confidence for any number of reasons, I find it a sad state of our culture that we are told we particularly lose our value as we age. In today’s youth-obsessed society, where every beauty product tells us we need to look younger, every magazine is filled with teenagers with 22″ waists and an alarming lack of crows feet, the message isn’t exactly subtle.
Years ago, I had a run in with a woman who stopped me on my way into a coffee shop and told me how much she loved my style. And as she exited, she waved merrily and said I should, “Enjoy it now – just wait till you’re married!” Huh? I was left staring after her, mouth opening and closing like a goldfish, marveling at one of the many ways the world tells us we have an expiration date. That self love can only exist until we cross an invisible threshold – be it marriage (apparently), kids, a career, a certain age. And as I questioned in this post, do we really run out of time for ourselves the older we get, the more responsibilities we take on? Or do we simply feel less and less worth it as we age? And do our current views of what we deserve leak into our relationships, the way we interact with each other, leaving aging women feeling obsolete and of diminishing worth? Unknowingly normalizing behavior that tells us to cover up, stop putting effort in, hide away from the world, apologize for signs of passing years. When what we should be doing is embracing each decade, owning our beauty and the wisdom of experience. Because it gives those around us permission to do the same.
So, thank you, Nikki Redcliffe, for kicking cultural norms to the curb and recognizing that you are worthy of self celebration. For sharing your effervescence with a community of women who often feel they are anything but. Who reminds us that we are all worthy of beautiful things. No matter the number on the scale. The candles on our birthday cake. Someone else’s idea of beauty. We are worthy exactly as we are. And with each passing year, we will simply get better.
May we all be Nikki when we grow up…
xoxo
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