The Dressed Aesthetic

Be The Change

Be the Change - The Dressed Aesthetic

You probably noticed that it’s been a bit quiet around here this past week, which was very intentional. Following the murders that include but are certainly not limited to George Floyd, Ahmaud Arberry, and Breonna Taylor, it was important to me to give space to voices that needed to be heard more than mine, and work to listen more than speak. It was just as important to take time to reflect on the horrific nature of current events and the manifestation of centuries of systemic racism here in the States (and around the world) – both to find ways that I can help, but also be very honest with myself about ways that I can be better.

This has been a hard thing for me to talk about – because I have no authority on this topic. I’m a white woman and that affords a high degree of privilege in the spaces that I occupy. I realize that I can never truly understand what it is like to be POC. I can empathize and feel outraged and make donations and join in protests, but I will never really understand.

I’ve started and stopped this post so many times, the words failing my fingertips. As a scientist, it’s my job to understand what I’m talking about. As such, I am a very measured, thoughtful person. I like to think things through carefully and understand every aspect of a topic before I speak about it. I do my research and I check facts, careful about nuance and discrepancy. To this day, giving talks at conferences about something I am actually the world’s expert in still gives me anxiety, and I so carefully choose each word until it’s precise. When it comes to the world we live in and the discrimination I have not had to experience because of the color of my skin, I’ve been so afraid to say something wrong or miss something important.

But, here’s the first thing I’ve learned this week: staying silent is so much worse than being wrong. Silence is in and of itself a privilege. It is often born from discomfort – and is critical to recognize it is an action that preserves that status quo. Because whether I spoke up or not wouldn’t change my immediate world. And that is the very definition of privilege, So, I stopped worrying about saying this right and started worrying a lot more about DOING right.

Be the Change - The Dressed Aesthetic
Artwork by the amazing Jennifer Elder Art

This past week, I stepped back from my regular posting schedule here on the blog and on social media and participated in listening, learning, and reflecting. To ask myself the hard questions and confront my own privilege. And to confront my reaction to it – to be sure that my sharing and posting and hashtagging wasn’t about posturing or proving myself to be an ally. That it was separate from a need to absolve myself of guilt or to separate myself from the problem. Which, if we’re being honest, is just another subconscious way of bringing the conversation right back to me, where it truly doesn’t belong.

What I’ve realized is so much more important is taking a deep breath and acknowledge that I have benefitted from the problem. That systemic racism is so much bigger than the fact that I identify as a person who hasn’t made racist comments or contributed directly to someone’s oppression. It is time to accept that I have benefitted from a system of white privilege in many big and small ways. And for those who have an immediate knee jerk reaction to the word, “privilege,” ready to jump in and talk about your difficult circumstance, here’s something very important: my white privilege does not mean that I’ve had life handed to me or haven’t faced any struggles. It just means that the color of my skin hasn’t contributed to those struggles. The sooner you say it out loud, let it in, acknowledge that you can both be a good person and still benefit from a system that marginalizes others, the sooner you can make the first baby step towards personal growth. And some much needed societal change.

Be the Change - The Dressed Aesthetic

I realize (and have witnessed) that there are many people out there who want to deny or simply minimize what’s going on. Some of you may be readers, who may walk away after reading this post. And that’s okay – we don’t have to agree. But, if you find yourself in this category, I hope after you click away or unfollow, you spend some time to ask yourself why. Do you feel discomfort or anger? Are you simply uncomfortable that your status quo has been shaken? Those are important and necessary things to feel right now. It’s how you push through them that tells me who you are.

Similarly, if you’re response to anything that has happened this this past week has had the word “but” in them at any time…as in “The murders were horrible, but…”, “I understand the protests are important, but…”, “I believe Black Lives Matter, but…” I highly encourage you to stop. Reflect on where the “but” comes from, and why it’s there. The “but” itself isn’t bad…but you owe it to yourself and to others to check why you feel the need to insert a but. Change will always start with self-reflection and we can’t fight the system until we acknowledge and fight moments of prejudice within ourselves.

The best place to start is with educating yourself. So, in addition to a lot of reflection this week, I wanted to figure out ways I could start to truly understand – and not just share a post or hashtag and pat myself on the back for a job well done. The job starts here. It doesn’t end here. So, I’ve been paying much closer attention to the way I could amplify voices other than my own. In researching organizations to donate to, supporting Black owned businesses and bloggers, sharing the words of others who live an experience every day that many of us are only now opening our eyes to. I know many of us are on a similar journey – carefully stumbling forward and being very honest with ourselves about how much we have to learn. It is up to those of us with privilege to incite change. To start a fire that will continue to burn long after this media cycle.

Below you will find a series of resources I have compiled in my research this past week (I’ve also shared a lot on my IG stories). You will find places you can donate to, pages and businesses you can support, and ways you can affect positive change. Research and self reflection is so important right now, as is using whatever platform we have to share info and promote change – not just this week, but from this point forward.

Resources

Donate

 

Organizations to Follow on IG

 

Petitions to Sign

 

Additional Resources

 

11 Ways Towards Self-Change (that I’ve been putting into action this week)

  1. Understand what “what privilege” truly means. Accept it and Confront it. Remember that change starts with self awareness.
  2. Ask yourself how can you be actively anti-racist instead of simply “not racist”? Learn the value of your voice and speak out against injustice.
  3. Do not expect marginalized groups to educate you. Do your Research. It’s your responsibility to start your own anti-racist education. See the many resources above on places to start.
  4. Speak up and use your platform to effect change – it doesn’t matter how many followers you have. Your dinner table will do. You can see this great guide for ways to respond to common racist statements.
  5. Don’t be afraid to be wrong or imperfect. I’ve learned that it’s much more important to be both wrong and willing to listen, learn, and be ready to change…including within yourself.
  6. Avoid the “buts’ and the “whataboutisms” – this is a serious issue and requires you to be fully open to things you do not understand. See #3.
  7. Don’t switch off – even if you feel uncomfortable or defensive. Ask yourself why you feel this way – and push through it. It’s actually an understandable, self-preservative response to cling to your “normal” (read about a really insightful way this relates to Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs). But, we need to start to change our Normal.
  8. Learn and teach others the barriers to success for POC – how can you use this you progress conversations with friends, family, and colleagues?
  9. Diversify your social media feeds — before this week, was it mostly full of people who looked like you? (I’m embarrassed to say that mine was). Think of ways you can change that – follow black creators, support black owned businesses, like and share content that supports equality (and be sure to credit the original creator)
  10. I heard some great advice this week – that we should recognize that we can be activists and ALSO engage with the things we enjoy. You cannot give 100% of yourself to a cause or you will burn out, and your support of a cause is no “better” if you do in a dress or sweatpants. Do you and help make the world better. You are more effective for the cause when you take time to recharge.
  11. Use your privilege (see #1) and push for change. As Hamilton said, this is not a moment, it’s the movement. Do not let things drift back to how they were because it’s comfortable there. We can be better. We need to be better.

 

This list is only a small subset of ways you can help. There is an amazing, comprehensive, crowdsourced National Resource List that offers endless information, additional resources, and ways to help.

The scientist in me hates that I don’t have all of the answers. That I can’t neatly lay out a protocol or a conclusion. But, the human being in me knows that the cause needs imperfect allies right now. It needs fuel and fire and a willingness to accept where we can grow, coupled with a resolve to no longer dismiss what we had the privileged luxury to dismiss before. I don’t know about you, but as we start to dip our toes into this new week, I feel my resolve gaining strength. And I have only just begun to fight.

I hope everyone took the time this week to listen to the critical call for change – even if you feel uncomfortable, challenge yourself. Do not let this opportunity pass by in a single week of hashtags, only to return to the status quo. Do your research. Listening does not mean this is a time for silence – this is the time to unify, challenge racism, celebrate diversity, seek to reach out and support one another, acknowledge places of our privilege, and learn how you can be a better ally.

Hiding in our privilege is no longer an option. I want to be better. I will be better.

Be the Change. #BlackLivesMatter

 

xoxo

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