I’m not quite sure how, but these last few months have managed to feel harder than any other through this whole pandemic. Is it just me, here? I was trying to explain it to a friend the other day…and the best analogy I could come up with was that it’s as if I experienced that surge of adrenaline that instinctually happens in a crisis for the last 2 years. The one that enables you to outrun a bear or lift a car off the baby. And collectively, we’ve been holding the car off the baby for 2+ years. And once you start to lower it to the ground, I guess it makes sense that your arms fall off.
While I wish I could lay in recovery from the whole arms-falling-off thing while some kind person stepped in to manage all of my tasks, that To Do List is a stern mistress. Exams must be written, theses must be edited, classes must be taught. And even though the Spring is always fraught with craziness, I am experiencing a bone-chilling exhaustion as I drag my weary body towards the finish line more than last year or the year before.
But, even though it is a bit grey and dreary at the moment, I can certainly see blue skies ahead. While I bemoan it in January, one of the benefits of having an early start to the semester means that finals are in early May, followed by a seemingly endless, glorious stretch of summer. The countdown has most certainly begun….
I have to say, during the chaos and the darting to and fro, Mr. Dressed is a master at knowing exactly what I need. Be it the sound of coffee brewing every morning, as I drag my tired self from the embrace of my comforter; or the arm reaching from behind the garage door, holding a perfectly made Manhattan after a particularly rough day; to this vintage Pat Premo dress from Where’s My Time Machine, where the minute I zipped it up I was reminded that sometimes he knows me better than I know myself.
I guess storms come and go, but it certainly helps to have someone to weather the squall (or at least bring an extra umbrella to hold over you while you’re holding up that car).
I feel the need to say to anyone who needs to hear it: it’s okay to be struggling right now. To be feeling as if you should have more energy and you should be feeling better and you should have managed to accomplish more. I give you permission to let go of all of those unnecessary shoulds. Because these last few years have been rough. And if you are feeling more overwhelmed now than ever, it’s only because for the first time in a really long time, it feels safer to do so.
Personally, I’m keeping my eye on the horizon that is the end of the semester at the moment, desperately reaching towards a time when I can take a breath. Where the To Do list can be safely put aside. Where there are no meetings, no lists, no worksheets or reflections. No group work or thesis defenses or places I need to be. Where there is only the sunshine calling me down to the beach.
Here’s looking at you, summer. When we can all give our arms a break from holding up the world.
xoxo
Outfit Details:
Dress: gift, Where’s My Time Machine (similar modern and vintage here, here & here)
Necklace: Oh My Butterfly
Handbag: MexiSoul (similar here & here)
Shoes: Amazon
Lip Color: Niagara
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