It’s impossible to be stressed when you’re staring out to sea. For some reason, it always gives me perspective, the feeling that I’m just a tiny boat on an enormous sea, bobbing in the waves. It reminds me to surrender to the forces that pull me forward, and let go of the things that are being pulled away. And when I’m a headless chicken and can’t find my way to the coastline, a 1950’s seaside print dress will do just fine…
I was lucky enough to know my profession at a very young age. Although the exact path eluded me somewhat, at five I announced I would be an ichthyologist who studies sharks. And like any good wannabe-shark biologist, you couldn’t get me out of the waves. Icy cold New England waters called to me, and I would charge in with abandon and frolic until I’d emerge hours later, shivering from the cold. And much like I charged into those waves, I charged into pursuing my career goal with crazy fervor. Though there were a few times that science chewed me up and spit me out, sunburnt and pruny, I still went back into the icy water each season, relentless.
One of my best friends is visiting us from Australia this week. And as we’ve been catching up on everything and nothing, she reminded me to stop and reflect on how far I’ve come. From that sassy little coke-bottle-glasses-wearing 5 year old, to a determined undergraduate and then PhD student, to the post doc who wondered on many occasions if this was one of those times when science was being pulled away from me, with quiet but firm instructions to let it go for good.
It’s easy when you look back from a distance and think that all of the things in your life simply happened to you. The struggles go fuzzy around the edges with the passage of time and you can forget that it’s not really luck that gets you where you are. Timing definitely plays a part, but it’s also a lot of determination and grit. Over the years I had to face my share of tough questions and wonder whether this was the big wave that would finally capsize me, I would always manage to righten and the the storm would pass.
I can get a bit caught up in the day to day and forget sometimes to sit back and think about how fortunate I am to be doing exactly what I love to do. It’s amazing to have a friend who reminds me this is not something that happened to me. This is something I made happen for myself.
So, to everyone out there who is making it happen, bobbing in the waves – keep on paddling. You’ll get there.
xoxo
Outfit Details:
Dress: Atomic Blonde Vintage, no longer on Etsy (similar modern and vintage here, here & here)
Necklace: Gift (similar)
Handbag: Guess, sold out (similar)
Shoes: Betsey Johnson
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